


New Mooning

by MenagerieOfDarkness



Series: A Wahnce in a Lifetime Romance [2]
Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Edward Cullen, Canon-Typical Violence, Cullen Smut, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff and Smut, Food Sex, Furry, Gratuitous Smut, Human/Vampire Relationship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Improvised Sex Toys, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex Toys, Not Beta Read, Oh God Yes, Post-Wedding, Rough Body Play, Sex Toys, Shameless, Sorry Not Sorry, Sub Edward Cullen, Top Waluigi, Vampire Sex, Weddings, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 13:01:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenagerieOfDarkness/pseuds/MenagerieOfDarkness
Summary: After his relationship with Edward Cullen has reached its peak, Waluigi is ready to take things to the next level. How will he handle the epic highs and lows of weddings?
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Waluigi (Super Mario)
Series: A Wahnce in a Lifetime Romance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208474
Kudos: 1





	New Mooning

Waluigi couldn’t believe how fast the past year had flown. He played baseball, defeated the Mormon god Stephenie Meyer to secure his relationship with Edward, and then, right as Waluigi was packing up his tennis racket after practice, Edward got down on one knee and pulled out a ring. 

“Waluigi,” the ripped vampire said. “I love you more than Gerard Way loves Frank Iero. No, more than Gerard Way loves Spider-Man. Will you, Waluigi, the Purple Pizzaz, marry me?”

“Wah!” Waluigi shouted as he kissed Edward right on the lips, grinding his freshly greased mustache into the vampire’s face. He couldn’t believe it; he was going to be Waluigi Cullen. And, after that, maybe Edward could turn him into a Vampuigi — a vampire Waluigi.

The months of wedding planning, trying on countless tuxedos and dresses whilst a Muse song blared in the background, let him up to this very moment where Waluigi, in a fashionable blouse and khakis, was ready to marry his one true love, Edward Cullen.

“Edward Cullen, do you take Waluigi to be your lawfully wedded Waluigi?” The officiant asked.

“I do.” Edward gazed longingly into Waluigi’s eyes. He gently squeezed his lover's hands with his icy, undead grip. Under the faint forest lights, as Alice had demanded that the wedding take place outside so that each vampire had maximum sparkle, Waluigi saw small tears fill Edward’s eyes. He wanted to reach out and wipe them away, but then the officiant nodded and turned to him.

“Waluigi, do you take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husbando?”

Right before Waluigi could let out one of his signature “Wah!”s, a rustling from a nearby bush stopped him. The noise grew louder, attracting the attention of many of the wedding guests. It was strange like some giant beast was trying to free itself from the brambles.

But, just as quick as it began, the noise steadied as a large wolf fursuit emerged from the bush. The figure brushed some leaves off of their body, but since their fabric paws were large and unwieldy, they only managed to further cover their artificial coat in foliage. Waluigi stared at the furry, mouth agape in confusion. Why would someone like that come to his wedding? Was it one of Edward’s friends who just didn’t want to blind everyone with their sparkle? As the questions flooded Waluigi’s purple mind, he realized he didn’t have to answer them as the furry slowly and methodically removed their brown wolf head.

“Waluigi, where the hell have you been, loca?” Jacob Black, Waluigi’s childhood friend, popped his head out of his fursuit. His swole body was covered by the rest of the suit, but Waluigi knew from experience that he was shirtless. But, he hadn’t even told Jacob that he was getting married, and their supposedly final conversation in which Jacob admitted that he was a furry ended on a particularly sour note. So, the man appearing right before Waluigi was able to kiss the groom seemed preposterous.

“Jacob!” Edward bared his fangs. The vampire had never been a fan of furries, much less ones who were in love with his Waluigi. “How did you even find us? We’re so far back in the woods, I thought no one was supposed to stumble upon us.”

“Sorry about that!” Alice called from her seat. “I had a vision where a wolf showed up, but we are in the woods after all, so I thought that wouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a.... real wolf.”

Jacob seemed to sneer at everyone’s confusion. “After months of wearing this fursuit without taking it off, my senses have become heightened from seeing and smelling through various layers of expensive fabric. With it off, I can sniff down anything, especially the smell of you, Waluigi, like stale spaghetti and khakis. I’ve been hiding in this bush for the past 30 minutes, just waiting for the perfect moment to ask you this.”

The wedding guests gasped as the furry got down on one knee and pulled out a ring. The piece of metal clumsily sat in his big, wolf paws. 

“Waluigi, ever since the day I met you, I knew you weren’t like other girls. I’ve... I’ve always wanted to yiff with you, to glomp you when you would come home to my furry coven. So, what do you say, loca? Will you become my furry queen?”

Waluigi wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t a furry, nor did he have any desire to participate in ‘yiffing’ or the like. But, Jacob seemed like he wasn’t ready to take no for an answer, not if he was willing to ask this in front of the entire wedding.

“He doesn’t want to.” Edward thankfully cut in. “So what if you spoke a few times, what, ten years ago? While you were out ‘glomping’ or whatever you furries do, I’ve been the best boyfriend that Waluigi deserves.”

“How? By breaking into his room at night and watching him sleep?”

“He’s into that!” Waluigi nodded along, feeling his khaki-clothed cock twitch happily at the thought of the predacious Edward staring over his innocent, unknowing body. Once they were married and lived together, Waluigi hoped that Edward would continue that tradition, if only for the sake of Waluigi’s mushroom boner.

“You liar! That’s it! Furry powers activate!” Jacob placed his wolf head back on, completing his set of armor that gave him +10 defense. He charged at Edward on all fours, a sight that was extremely disturbing given that humans are meant to run on two legs, so his passionate gallop was more of a stumbling trot. However strange the display, Edward responded in turn, using his super-speed to slam into Jacob. But, with his furry powers turned on, he had the spirit of the wolf rushing through his veins. Even at full speed, Edward couldn’t knock him down.

Jacob seemed to evade every strike, his fursuit deflecting all damage. It didn’t take long for Edward to begin to tire, his thrown fists growing weak and sloppy. Waluigi couldn’t believe it; what would Jacob do to him if Edward couldn’t defeat him? Force him to marry him? Take him away into the night like Waluigi was Princess Mononoke? No, as badass as that would be, he would never do that with a furry.

Steeling his nerves, Waluigi slowly crept around the epic brawl, sneaking up behind Jacob. The Waluigi swiftly removed his furry head, revealing the flesh underneath. Without his full set of furry armor, the spell was broken, and his powers went back down to human level. Now Edward, even fatigued, could take him down.

“Kame! Hame! Ha!!!!!” Edward shouted as he pulled all of his leftover sparkle power into his fist, punching Jacob right in the nose. Everyone gasped as Jacob was sent flying into the bushes, sighing in disappointment as he got back up. The furry raised a fluffy fist to the sky, shaking it in rage.

“This isn’t the last you’ll see of me. I’ll marry your firstborn, I swear it.” With that, Jacob placed his wolf head back on and glomped back into the woods, never to be seen again. Waluigi wasn’t sure what to make of his threat; why would he expose himself like that? Did people think that a man planning to marry a baby was fine?

“Well then,” the officiant coughed and adjusted his tie, trying to bring some sort of order to the wedding. “Shall we continue?”

“Of course.” Edward fixed his tux and took Waluigi’s hand, ushering him back in front of the officiant. Once the groom and Waluigi were back in place, the officiant continued once more. 

“Now, without any further interruption, Waluigi, do you take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husbando?”

“Wah!” Waluigi shouted, kissing Edward, no, his husband, as the crowd cheered. Far up in the sky, Waluigi hoped that Stephenie Meyer was staring down at them and angrily shaking her head.

Once the wedding was over, Waluigi and Edward made their way to their honeymoon in the Cullen’s private villa. Waluigi couldn’t believe just how much money the family had; maybe they had a money-laundering scheme or were committing tax fraud... But, he could figure out his new family-in-law’s questionable wealth another time. It was time to celebrate being Waluigi Cullen!

“Hold on tight, spider monkey.” Edward crooned as he swept Waluigi off of his long, hand-like feet. The maroon maiden gasped as Edward took him to the bedroom. Even though he had Edward had swapped semen more times than he could count, never had they done it in a place as sophisticated as a bed! Waluigi wasn’t sure if his body was ready to lay on such a soft surface as Edward pounded his ass into oblivion. But, the tight vampire quickly took the lead, moving over to his suitcase and pulling out two pairs of handcuffs.

“Wah?” Waluigi said inquisitively. Sure he and his hubby had gotten down and dirty in the past, but handcuffs never made their way into the equation. The idea of being completely at Edward’s mercy hardened Waluigi’s philosopher stone, but part of him was still unsure. That is, until Edward laid down on the soft, white sheets, staring at his newly wedded Waluigi.

“Waluigi. I want you to tie me up. Tonight, I’m completely yours.”

“W-Wah??” He had no idea how to respond to that. Did Edward want him to dominate his cold, rock-solid bod, batter him until he was tenderized and ready to devour?

“I packed all of my tools in my suitcase. Please, don’t treat them with care.” 

Waluigi made his way to Edward’s Naruto suitcase and opened up all of its pouches. He pulled out a few bulbs of garlic, a silver cross, and a large wooden stake inscribed with the words “Daddy” and “Yamete” in blood-red ink. The young Waluigi was so confused; what was Edward asking him to do?

“All of those normally kill vampires, but my family put a magic sex spell on this house. Neither of us can die here tonight.” It was slightly concerning how he added ‘neither of us,’ but the danger was what made Waluigi fall in love with him in the first place. After a moment of thinking through it, the lilac lover relented, handcuffing Edward to the bed. The vampire was sparkling from the faint sunlight shining in through the window like he was Waluigi’s very own sexy disco ball. He couldn’t believe that he was married to this hunk of lifeless marble and that now he was able to be the top in more than just tennis.

Waluigi grabbed the garlic first. His brief Bing searches before Edward started breaking into his bedroom revealed that the bulb truly did hurt vampires, but it was delicious, and Waluigi was nothing if not a spicy Italian, so he elected to use it first. Edward seemed to wince as the white vegetable approach, and while part of Waluigi wanted to stop, every dick cell in his body was telling him to keep going.

He slowly unbuttoned the vampire’s tuxedo shirt, revealing his freshly-waxed, milky chest. Waluigi peeled the bottom of the bulb and rubbed the fresh garlic over Edward’s pecs like he was making some garlic bread. The vampire bit his lip to contain a scream as his skin turned red and irritated from the devil’s lightbulb. But, even as his body twitched and glanced from the burn, his stupendous cock only grew swoler like a grow dinosaur sponge being placed in water. Waluigi couldn’t believe it; his husbando was enjoying this! And, from the psychosexual bond between them, Waluigi felt his enoki grow into a death cap full of lust and danger.

Waluigi quickened his pace, smearing oils all over the vampire until he could almost see his reflection in Edward’s broad bod. God, the smell was arousing his Italian nostrils, penetrating his nose with its glorious fumes. It took all of his incredible strength for the plum partner to not lick the garlic grease off of Edward’s nip nops, but no, he had to resist the urge.

“Wa-waluigi....” Edward spoke between breathy gasps. “The cross... Put the cross on me like the dirty sub I am.”

“Wah.” Waluigi unhinged his jaw and devoured the garlic bulb in one fell swoop before climbing off of the bed and grabbing the cross. Upon further inspection, the large ornate gems embedded into the sexual torture device had small cocks carved into them. If anything, the sight of those Christly chodes turned Waluigi on further.

Waluigi gently placed the cross on Edward’s clothed crotch, the vampire’s sexy peen breakdancing as the Jesus particles spread to his flesh groin. Edward groaned as the cross’s sexual energy burned his pants off. As his undead cock squirmed against the metal, Waluigi felt his hands slowly drift to the vampire’s cheeks, stroking the stony flesh. He tried to be gentle, but his husbando seemed much more invested in the sensual pain in his loins than Walugi’s garlicky, gloved grip. So, as the cross stayed perched on Edward’s raging Kraken, Waluigi went to grab the stake, hands covering the ‘Yamete’ as he stood over the vampire’s form.

“Wah!” Waluigi cried as he grazed his hubby’s chest with the stake, tracing his name in cursive, the giant ‘W’ taking up all of Edward’s left pec. Since stakes normally kill vampires if a sex spell hasn’t been placed, the wood left a red mark wherever it touched. Waluigi was doing it! He was marking his husbando like an artist putting their name on their Sonic fan art! 

Then, as his name was completed, Waluigi lifted the stake, waiting for Edward to tell him what to do next. Suddenly, Waluigi felt a surge of electricity go through his mushroom cock, the psychosexual connection between him and Edward evolving to now include instant dick messages. From the pulses of energy — the Morse code of man meat if you will — Waluigi translated what Edward was trying to tell him. It would take a lot out of him to do so, but Waluigi was willing to do anything to please his horny little submarine sandwich.

“Wahhhhhh!” The eggplant emoji screamed and flexed his noodly legs, khakis tearing right off. He then kicked the cross off of Edward’s shaft before slamming himself and the stake onto the vampire. As his cold, twerking cock entered Waluigi’s gluten-free Hawaiian rolls, the magnificent Waluigi plunged the stake right into Edward’s chest. They both gasped in unison at the strange pain and pleasure entering the two of them. He had engulfed Edward’s willy countless times before, but Waluigi felt as though the vampire’s cock had somehow grown like he more aroused than ever before. He wondered if it had to do with the wedding, having sex on a real bed for the first time, or the sheer amount of damage his body was taking.

Using the stakes as leverage, Waluigi rode through the motions like a purple ship at sea. Normally, Edward would be the one in the driver’s seat, doing parallel parking and all sorts of cool tricks, but this time Waluigi was in charge. He never realized how much fun it would be to dom his beloved Edward, the ghostly love of his life. It was so amazing that, even after they soaked the sheets in their fluids, Waluigi wished it would never end.

“Waluigi, no, daddy, that would be amazing.” Edward looked completely spent. Once Waluigi took the stake out of him, the magic spell quickly haled his wounds, but he still seemed exhausted.

“Can you undo these handcuffs? The key should be in my bag.”

“Wah.” Waluigi nodded, searching through the suitcase. But, to his dismay, there was nothing inside of it. Other than the numerous vampiric sex toys Edward had brought, the bag was completely empty. Waluigi looked up and sadly shook his head.

“Oh shit,” Edward said as he slowly resigned himself to his fate. That was going to be a long night until they could call for help to get someone to cut the handcuffs off of him, or his vampiric strength regenerated enough for him to break out of them. But, as his blushing Waluigi laid down next to him and nuzzled deeper into his frigid form, Edward realized they would be okay.


End file.
